I think we all have our answers inside of us. Sometimes there just seem to be more than one voice going on and you have no idea who to believe!!

There is something to be said about listening to your body though. At what point is tension relieved? When do you feel relaxed as appose to tense and exhausted?

It is extremely exhausting to force yourself to live a certain way that you know isn’t healthy for you. I don’t know where off the wall behavior fits into this scenario, but for the seekers, tuning into what your body is telling you and not just your head is something to pay mind to!

I have told myself for years that I “should” be happy as is. Something is changing inside me though and I can no longer let my ego and my voice argue with each other. It’s just too damned exhausting!!

I’m no longer interested in fighting a losing battle. The toll it’s taking on me is doing more harm than good to EVERYONE and all I’m left with in the end is this feeling of failure.

Doing things because I felt I “should”, or because I wanted to protect other people only turns around and hurts the people I care the most about anyway. So why keep fighting? It’s time to give in and give up the ghost. Life is going to change as it should, no matter how hard I push against it.

Just saying that, giving myself permission to FEEL what I feel instead of trying to deny or argue it gives me a sense of relief, a lifted weight, a slight sense of calm. Those are the messages I should be listening to instead of the “tapes” I recorded and replayed over and over until I could hear nothing else… till now.

Posted to the Midlife Club Forum in 2007 by forum member RotorWashed. All rights reserved.