I don’t know about you but I get tired of hearing it! I have Satellite TV with SPIKE and all the latest stations but in the evening they have these crazy commercials on about “male enhancement” – you know… buy such and such a pill and big problems are no longer a problem! I mean… I just want to leave the room embarrassed for being a man.

So when does a little problem become a big one?

The last Issue of Men’s Health Magazine even devoted a section to which “male enhancements” really work and which don’t.

Dude, if you are with a woman who thinks a pensive tail is important to your relationship it is time to run – yesterday! If the tables were turned and they were speaking of women how long do you think the commercial would run? The fairy tale of Chicken Little, ducky lucky, and goosey loosey, would have nothing on a commercial like these!

So why does it offend me?

Well for starters I’ve been hanging around here. I have not once heard a woman say that she wishes he were enhanced. What I do hear women say is “I miss his presence”. The old Mediterranean language had a word for this that we do not have in the English language; translated perfectly the word means “I miss your smell”.

There are things about the presence of a man that she is intimately involved with that can only be described this way – “I miss your smell”. Do you know why she sleeps on your pillow when you are gone? Do you know why you sleep on hers? You miss her. You miss her smell. Smell is the intimacy of a head on a shoulder when all is well with your world. Do you miss that? THAT is what I’m talking about!

Male enhancement in my books is: Open arms and caresses that offer closeness; that completes her.

Male enhancement is: “whenever I turn to you you’re there with your smile to help me through life’s difficulties.

Male enhancement is: Understanding and compassion, tenderness when she needs it.

Male enhancement is: Wisdom that speaks an exact word to a family difficulty precisely when it is needed.

Male enhancement is: Comfort knowing that all your mistakes are covered in a bond of love.

Male enhancement is: A hand – a touch- that reaches with a thumb to dry a tear and keeps secret the innermost yearnings of her heart.

Male enhancement is: Security in knowing that she will always be safe as long as you are near.

Male enhancement is: Intimacy so close that our lovemaking is a way to touch the innermost part of the heart answering every longing. Beyond physical but expressive of the groan in the heart.

Male enhancement is: All inclusive. Not just physical. Not just spiritual. Not just relational. Not just emotional – it is speaking to one another with your skin because only the intimacy of closeness in heart and mind will complete the person you are.

So why don’t we have these in a commercial?

Could it be that we are afraid if it did?

Could we be this vulnerable with another person? Could we be this vulnerable with our wives? Or… well… would we rather be golfing instead? Come on now…

The bottom line is “male enhancement” is being all that you can possibly be – a real man! And that scares the shit out of most of us! A lot more than a pensive tail!

Posted to the Midlife Club forum in 2007 by forum member Newman. Visit Newman’s forum at FortySixty.org which focuses primarily on support for men dealing with male midlife crisis.