Posted on the Midlife Club forum by Dewpoint who said: “Just a little sumpin’ I wrote to the tune of ‘Hotel California’. (With apologies to The Eagles).”

Hotel MidLife Crisis

When you get close to 50, start losing your hair
And your vision gets blurry, from out of nowhere
And your job is a prison, and your sex life’s no prize
And you wonder what life’s all about. Are you just chasing lies?

Once again Monday morning, comes the 6 AM bell
And you’re thinking to yourself ‘This ain’t heaven, it seems more like hell’
And you drive on the highway, check for tunes that they play
But strange voices on the radio, all join in to say…

Welcome to the Hotel MidLife Crisis
It’s a crazy place, a confusing space
Plenty of room at the Hotel Midlife Crisis
All your deepest fears, get exposed right here.

You might buy a new sports car, or a Mercedes Benz
Maybe find a pretty, pretty girl, that you’ll call ‘friend’
Hold her close on the dance floor, work up a sweat
And you never remember, what you choose to forget

Then you call to the desk clerk, ‘Please give me my key’
He says: ‘Here you are Mister Midlife sir. Room 623’
But still those voices are calling from far away,
Listen hard when you shut your eyes, and you’ll hear them say…

Welcome to the Hotel MidLife Crisis
It’s a crazy place, a confusing space
Livin’ your life at the Hotel Midlife Crisis
You’ll rewrite the truth, while you mourn your youth

Staring at the ceiling; pretty girl beside
She says: ‘Let’s do this again tonight, that would be very nice’
You go into the bathroom, and stare into the mirror
But you can’t see that whatever you do, you can’t escape the years.

Later on you’ll remember, as the fog drains from your head
The selfish way that you acted, and angry words that you said.
And in despair you’ll try to think, how did things get so bad?
You never found what you were looking for…
And you lost what you had!”