After 18 years of marriage, her 41-year-old husband wants a divorce so he can find the passion he’s missing in his marriage. She says his recent affair with a younger woman has left her devastated and him feeling that he’s missing out on experiencing life in a passionate relationship. She wants him to reconsider for their child’s sake because they know they cannot be friends if they divorce.

I said:

You’re very intuitive about the situation you and your husband share. Unfortunately, your understanding can’t be passed on to him. He will see and feel at his own pace, making his decisions as he must.

Perhaps he will leave, and perhaps he will regret leaving. He currently believes leaving is what he must do in order to be happier, regardless of how much pain it may cause you and other family members. He’ll never know that he made a wrong choice if he doesn’t go. Or, he might find that leaving was the right choice.

Do you put your life on hold waiting to see if he has a change of heart? And what if he doesn’t? Or what if he does, only it takes longer than you expected and you’ve already stopped waiting?

Where your husband’s personal growth will lead him only time will reveal. Use the time for your own personal growth and you may find that what you thought you wanted for the rest of your life isn’t what you really want.

It’s time to become a member of The Midlife Club and get the support of other women going through the same situation.

© Pat Gaudette. All rights reserved.