There is no Rosebud. Even if there were, finding Rosebud wouldn’t ‘cure’ Midlife Crisis. It’s a CRISIS of identity. It’s when someone urgently questions every aspect of their self and gets freaked right the hell out because the answers that worked in the past don’t work any more.

It’s NOT about your marriage. It isn’t. Your marriage may suffer badly, it might even end, but it’s not the root of the problem.

You can go to marriage counseling, read ‘The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands’, download ‘Save Your Marriage!’ e-books, buy sexy lingerie, call and b!tch out the other woman, pour the booze down the sink, go off to a Marriage Encounter weekend, get him into individual counseling, threaten him with divorce, or a thousand other things… and it won’t change the CRISIS.

By all means, DO those things if it brings value to your life. But DON”T do those things with the expectation that it will be the magic wand that bonks him on the head and makes him return to his formerly loving, happy self.

Step away from his madness. Respect him enough to let him find his way through it. You didn’t take him to raise, you took him to be your partner, and sometimes, you have to back off and let your partner struggle as part of their personal growth.

Posted on the Midlife Club Forum by forum member Wednesday. All rights reserved.